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From my early teen years, to that mids exchange, to this past summer when a hotel desk clerk opened the browser on my phone to enter the WiFi code and saw an unclosed tab to a free porn site instead of a search engine, I have never purchased the porn I consume. If you have a tween or teen, they are likely watching porn too. There are lots of free porn sites, folks.

With lots of and lots of stuff to see. If your kid has access to the internet, they have probably found porn. I suspect many parents would panic and try to shut that shit down.

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Use this as an opportunity to have a really important conversation about sex and sexual identities. We want our kids to ask us questions and come to us with tough topics. As hard as it is, if we can find a way to be comfortable when talking about sex, we will allow our kids to be more comfortable too.

If you have had the talk with your child, have it again. Kids talk about this stuff and if we want them to get the correct information, we need to be the ones giving it.

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But hopefully it will lead to safer sex because they have been given accurate information. So if you discover that your child is viewing porn, instead of yelling at or punishing your child for what truly is a normal and natural rite of passage, ask them questions.

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Find out why they are watching it. So, as parents, it is our job to be informed.

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This is denial and it helps no one, least of all your. Ask your child if they have any questions about what they have seen.

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Or even what seemed interesting to them. Do your best to not be uptight, and be prepared to listen. Be prepared to not know. And be prepared to learn together.

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Oh, I get it. When I was a teenager, same-gender sex was never discussed in health class. I knew I was queer at an early age, so I turned to porn and poorly made girl-on-girl romances to see what my version of a sexual relationship might look like. Ask your kids what kind of sex they are curious about.

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Are they trying to find representation? You may have a queer kid and finding their porn history may indicate something about their sexuality or gender identity. Let them know you love them unconditionally, but do not force them out of the closet. After gathering information, you will want to stress a few things to your. First of all, make sure you get a sense how much time they are spending watching porn.

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Be clear that school work, extracurricular activities, family time, and friendships should not be put at risk or damaged because of the amount of time watching porn. Not only could tweens and teens see unrealistic sexual relationships, they will likely stumble across illegal abuse and rape. Gang rape, child rape, and other awful acts of depravity can easily be seen.

There is a dangerous side of pornography that needs to be addressed too.

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This should lead to talks about protection and consent. A lot of porn does not include birth control or STD protection—condoms and dental dams are not part of foreplay or intercourse in pornos. Consent is a must, too.

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Whether your sexuality active son or daughter is having standard, missionary style sex or engaging in other kinky acts, there has to be agreement on both sides. There also has to be an understanding that protection is non-negotiable and if one of the people involved decides they are not comfortable, then game over.

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Consent happens before, during, and after sex. Oh, and tell your kid to avoid the pop-up adds. That shit will wreck your phone or hard drive.

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Kids will acquire the information they seek. Make sure you help them navigate sex in all its forms, porn included. Sites like Planned Parenthood and Sex, etc.

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